Knowing Your Worth

Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing. —  Oscar Wilde

When I'm not writing my books or writing business proposals for large companies, I help an international concierge manage the playtime for people with money.  These are people who don't have budgets for holidays. They just say where they want to go, for how long and how many people are travelling.  They also have weddings at places like the Palace of Versailles and have weddings on three continents for their coterie of guests, where Krug is drunk like water and stars like Rihanna and Mariah are flown in to sing Happy Birthday.

I have sourced and booked a selection of houses for the world tour for a famous singer and her husband, booked trips to Paris for the Spring-Sumer 2018 Haute Couture Chanel show, plus planned private yacht parties for property developers and arranged bespoke scarves made for a party invitation from Hermes. 

I write books about these people. It is not a life I live but I understand it. 

Someone who is of this world once said to me, 'you understand luxury.' Indeed I do. I am a Taurus who was raised on Nancy Mitford and Tatler magazine. Now I write about lifestyle and love. Children and ambition. Secrets and keeping face.  In my first book, The Perfect Location, I wrote about characters inspired by Harvey Weinstein, Brett Ratner and others. Some reviewers said my books were implausible. Those things that I wrote about would never happen. Now my plot lines read like newspaper articles. I just knew the rumours about men like this back in 2008. 

Everything I write about comes from a source, a story, an experience, a situation. It's all fodder. 

Lately, I have been thinking about the levels of wealth I see on a weekly basis now. There are several levels of the hierarchy of wealth. They are as follows:

1) Comfortable - You can pay your bills on time and have an overseas holiday every year. You travel on points and take photos of your bircher and croissant when you manage to get into the business club lounge.  You can afford special events or a night at a hotel suite with your partner. You work really hard to maintain the fiscal momentum in your life. You consider stress part of the fuel that pushes you to get to the next level. You still have your old friends from school. 

2) Well off - You pay your bills monthly and in advance, and travel overseas twice a year for the skiing and the sun. You check into the business club lounge on Facebook. You don't take photos because that's not cool. You start a collection of something. Maybe watches, often a good entry level collector's item, or art, if you know a thing or two, or know someone who can advise. You are now asked to donate to your old school, or your children's school. You can but it's not enough to have your name on the Arts Centre. Yet. You get a lot more friend requests on Facebook from people you went to school with but can't remember them. 

3) Wealthy - Your bills are paid automatically from your household account and you don't need to check them or the statement. You travel four times a year, for the skiing, the sun, the music and the food. You also own a beach house and a farm which are visited regularly. You lift your head when you enter the First Class Lounge. You have a small theatre in the middle school named after you and a prize for the best Humanities student. Your circle of friends is smaller, and often well-heeled because they don't ask for stuff. You don't have Facebook anymore.

4) Rich - Your finance manager pays your bills. You pay-pass everything. You have a money clip with a wad of $100 and $50 notes adding up to $3200. You work three months of the year on a project, spread out over the 12 months period. You travel the rest of the year, only fly business, and have no idea about how many points you have. You give a nod of acknowledgement to the receptionist when you enter the First Class Lounge. You have shares in Facebook and a new social sharing platform which is in Beta phase but with better data protection than FB. You have a few close friends now. Maybe two. You all know where the bodies are buried. You trust very few. And either your family is everything, or you and your partner have had a shit storm of a divorce, and the kids are struggling.

5) Ultra-Rich - You haven't paid a bill in ten years. You don't pay for things, or if you do, you have no idea how much it cost. You don't work, but you work out. You own houses where you can ski, sun yourself, have large parties for New Year's Eve, and can land the helicopter. You have a pilot and a Gulfstream plane where your three-year-old has her own booster seat. You own a large tech company, you're developing your own social media platform, along with various other blockchain projects. You're remarried with a serious prenup. You are wondering what happens to the money when you die. You arrange your philanthropic causes according to your passions once you're dead. You worry about your kids and why they're assholes. You wonder when you became an asshole. You think about all the things money couldn't fix in your life. Cancer that killed your sister, the schizophrenia of your son, the drunk driver that killed your best friend. Money means nothing now but if you say that to someone who doesn't have any, then you seem disingenuous.

Money is fun but if you are chasing it to climb to the next level, think about it for a moment. What will it cost you?
That's what I write about. The cost of living well and how what we think will make us happy very rarely does. 

Self worth is everything. What are you worth? You're more than the latest car or the latest iPhone. You don't need the huge TV. You don't need the latest Givenchy bag to prove you have value, that you matter. If it's a struggle to get these things and keep them, they they're not worth it. Being a functioning member of society who matters is not reliant on your 'stuff' because it's all just stuff. And there will be more stuff you think you need and you don't need it! You don't! You can travel the world collecting stuff, but nothing, nothing is as good as someone who tells you that you are the one they want to make laugh. Or the one who is on the list for 'People to call when the shit goes down'. This is your worth. This is what matters. 

Happy days to you, my friends. xx


The Rules For Real Luxury


While I organised an event last week for a luxury property launch in Sydney, it cemented my opinion that there are different sorts of luxury.  What luxury is to some, is merely mainstream to others. Yet luxury brands rely on the mainstream buyers to make their money. The designer fragrance from Gucci, the Miu Miu wallet for the young girl turning 21, or the entry point Ace Gucci sneaker for the Asian university student who may also be a moderate social influencer, all of these feed the bigger ambitions of the company.

The ladder of brands exists, and many aspire to climb it, working hard to own the IT bag from one of the Italian Houses or the new Prada sunglasses, and for some, to own such an item is as much a statement about their ability to earn as it is about their personal style.

But in the hierarchy of brands, and yes, there is a hierarchy of brands, no matter how hard a brand tries to be mainstream, sometimes the perception of these brands can’t be shifted no matter how fine the quality of the goods.

Brands that suffer from this taint include Kate Spade, Michael Kors, and Coach. Although I do think Coach has a chance of lifting itself from the middle-class malls with its clothing line which is proving to be better than anyone thought, providing they can get it onto the bodies of the right influencers.

Reinventing a brand is hard but it is possible. Burberry did it after they were known as the ‘chav’ brand with the pattern becoming the Rorschach of bad taste. Now it’s on point, with their Burberry track jacket a must have for the cooler members of the male population.

I am watching with interest the bombardment of Gucci into the mainstream. The head designer Alessandro Michelle is a genius, and prolific but how much pressure is he under to keep bringing out the Gucci ‘bling’. Now Gucci homewares are on offer, and I found myself making a face when I saw them. Not that I didn’t admire the patterns and designs, but the sheer mainstream-ness of it all made me feel like it wasn’t special anymore.

So why would the super-dollar-fabulistic wish to be with the great unwashed, with their brand of mainstream luxe found at Chadstone or Westfield Sydney?

As I consulted on a luxury property in Sydney, we discussed the super rich and their dislike of the ‘bling’. In France there is a saying, ‘Pour vivre heureux, vivons cachés’ (to live happily, live hidden). The French’s attitude to money isn’t just confined to France, although their history of beheading the super rich still pervades the hand-blocked wallpapered salons of the 19th arrondissement, hence their reluctance to be seen as gauche, in case the tax man comes calling.

A tax investigator once told me that she used to go through the glossy interior magazines, and look at the people who put their names and faces alongside their extremely expensive home renovation pictures, and she would cross reference the declared income in their tax information and if it didn’t make sense, then bam, you got yourself an audit.

But the truly wealthy don’t just wish to remain hidden because of tax, they fear their families safety. Rich people get kidnapped, that’s the truth, and we don’t hear about it, because the private security, kidnap and ransom agencies take care of it for them. Being subtle with your money is an art that only the truly rich have mastered.

Last week I worked on a project getting wealthy Saudi's to Madrid to watch El Clasico and then back again. Money is no object and the category one seats are scarcer then jadeite, so the pressure was on for them to be in and out with no fuss, and no fanfare.  Let's just say they fly in private and there's no checking into the business class lounge of the airline with your half a slice of pineapple on a plate and Nespresso coffee served in a cup and saucer. That's gauche and certainly saying too much about where you are and going.

Recently a friend flew first class to Europe. He didn't check in anywhere. He didn't have to. He doesn't measure his worth by his check-in's. He just values his comfort when flying. That is luxury.

But mainstream luxury is struggling to capture the youth. My son has a friend who is more on trend than any adult I know, and because he doesn’t subscribe to the luxury brands at the local shopping mall. He is hustling for Maison Margiela, Supreme, Bape, Fendi and Givenchy. The ‘mainstream’ brands are now worn as Anti-Fashion by my 20-year-old daughter and her friends. Mainstream logo t-shirts worn with cheap jewelry and statement sneakers are her piss-take on fashion. Fake bags are the currency, worn with a workman’s jacket from the charity shop. This juxtapositions of brands and textures, evokes a dystopian feel that reflects our current weariness of being constantly spruiked at by brands.

Now luxury brands find themselves in a bind. They need mainstream buyers but mainstream buyers make the brands less attractive to the truly wealthy, so they move onto obscure and subtle brands and suppliers.

For example, Hermes is a leathers good company, yet they put their designs on some cups and saucers and their logo underneath and you feel like you’re prestige. Those who buy their cups and saucers beach towels are funding the house so they can hand stitch the $15,000 jumping saddle for the heiress, Athina Onassis. A Hermes saddle is the height of luxury and so beautifully made, yet I doubt they wouldn’t make more than ten a year, so how can a luxury house survive on horse feed? It needs people to buy the cups and saucers or sunglasses, the aspirations of the everyday people are propping up the luxury market so Athina can have a saddle or the Dowager from New York can have her china mink lined Chanel tweed suit for the winter.

Currently, I am seeing a push towards the handmade, the obscure and the bespoke. The monogrammed everyday items, such as Frette sheets are popular, as is the hand-printed invitation on a silk scarf to a small dinner in an abandoned stately home in a faraway country. A treehouse escape in Africa, where you wake with giraffes eating your front door, as opposed to the supposed hotel luxury where you share your pool with three-year-olds and floating bandaids. The hand blended scent that you consult on and your pheremones are measured as opposed to the scents that permeate the department store, or the Vacheron Constantin hand-wound, in place of the Apple watch.

There is a list of luxury brands that the truly elite buy from. They are the brands that are mostly un-badged or subtly branded, yet still, offer the expectation of things that are beyond the reach of others. There are companies that will take all badging from your luxury car, so you don’t need to boast when you drive. Enjoy the car without the bullshit, as I heard someone state when they were considering the service. Perhaps it is all bullshit, but I subscribe to the belief that you like what you like and don't worry about anyone else, just make sure you're in control of where your money goes and you're not getting caught in the loop of the branding merchants.

Luxury exists in small unknown brands, beautiful items that may not have a huge presence but those who know them adore them. This is luxury – loving what you do, what you wear, and being in control of the spend and not being caught up in the war of the logo. Logos do not make you a better person. If you want the best, buy it, but don't assume the one with the biggest logo is the best.

If you or your company would like advice on the most bespoke brands in a certain area right now, please get in touch and I will be your sourcing sorceress.

Stay amazing.

Kate x




Let's Get Lost


On Saturday, I went on a road trip to visit my Mum with the eighteen-year-old who didn't stop talking all the way there and all the way back. I was hoping for a sing along type of trip but she wanted to talk about the state of the nation, and by 'nation', I mean, her life.

If you ever want to find out what your children are thinking, feeling, wanting, hating, wishing for, then take them on a car trip that takes longer than an hour and a half.

So of course, she talked about everything, and tears and laughter flowed (really!)

I suppose now is the time to let you know that I have this habit of easily getting lost because I don't take any notice of where I am heading or where I have been. (Yes, I get the symbolism of this statement)I even get lost in car parks.

Once, at Melbourne Central, I lost my car and had to get the security officer to drive me around in a golf cart while I randomly clicked my ignition keys to see if my car lights turned on.

Once, I dropped my husband in Port Melbourne, and on the way home, I got lost and ended up over the West Gate Bridge.

So naturally, while listening to the live audio book of The Life and Times of Tansy G, we ended up in the wrong town.  Really!

We went to the wrong frickin' town.

*Please note, I was actually crying at the moment we passed the turn off to our destination, because Tansy was talking about something super sad, can't remember what it was now, but I was crying and telling her I just wanted a sing along trip and look at what she had done.

So we ended up somewhere else, which, to be honest, we weren't entirely unhappy about because we saw this when we drove through the main street.


And the sugar-coated fairies were serving these little beauties.



And we decided that it was meant for us to go to the donut van by Lake Weeroona, because hot jam donuts are the traditional road food, and when in country Victoria, you have to assimilate.

You just have to!

Or perhaps were never lost. Perhaps we just needed the extra time to talk, to listen, to grieve about the last time we drove to there, when my Dad was told there was nothing to be done for his troubles, and the time when my brother was taken from there to Xanadu HQ, so his troubles could be fumigated by chemotherapy. Perhaps we needed to talk about courage and loss, and how we all have moments in life where we have to step up and be present, and the other times, when we can only think about getting through the next hour of life.

Or perhaps we just needed a hot jam donut.