My 20th Letter to You


Hello Friend,

I have been thinking of you but I haven’t written because I thought it would be best if you consolidated what you have been learning lately.

I see you have been responding to my Positive Challenge on Facebook and Instagram. It is hard sometimes not to default to the drama and the negative but not everything needs to receive the same response. If it’s sad it’s sad. Let it be sad. If something is annoying then try and work out why it is annoying you so much. Choose the responses carefully. Not everything needs to be apocalyptic.

I was listening to Martin Seligman, who is a positive psychologist, discuss the research that it is not the past that dictates the way our life unfolds, but the way we think about the future.

Yes, I know you had the thing happen and the stuff to deal with with as a child, and you are going the other stresses right now, but the reason you are so worried is that you can’t imagine a future without these traumas or stresses.

We think about our future far more than the past. What am I having for breakfast? I need to call my friend. I must get the car serviced. I have to get a new pair of boots as these have a hole in them.

And the way we think about our future impacts this very thing.

Why do you think you don’t deserve a brighter future? You do. We all do.

I found this exercise online and it resonated with me.

“Think about your life in the future. Imagine that everything has gone as well as it possibly could. You have worked hard and succeeded at accomplishing all of your life goals. Think of this as the realization of all of your life dreams. Now, write about what you imagined.

Starting to activate the hope circuit in your brain is the best thing you can do for yourself now.

Check your facts when you are going to the dark place. Are you assuming that what happened in the past will happen again? Why do you assume that?

There are always a possibilities for the future, more than what you imagined. What if it all worked out?

I urge you my friend to start being aware when you think about the future. Change the perspective. Don’t assume it’s all going to hell in a hand basket. It mostly likely isn’t and now you have yourself caught in a loop.

From where I sit, your future looks wonderful.

Much love,