Thank you for reminding me I forgot to post this letter. I have had a lot on my mind of late and didn’t realise I had skipped one!
I wanted to tell you some things about where I am at right now. I have a health issue which is proving to be tricky to navigate but I am mindful that I have helped many others through their health issues, so I know what I need to do. Rest is a big one and doing what needs to be done to simplify my life. It is interesting as I have just finished a six-week contract writing five websites for a large funeral company. Nothing like facing your mortality when you’re writing about linen lined caskets versus satin padded coffins.
It made me really aware of how amazing being alive is. It is simply a gift and even when you don’t always get what you asked for, there are such wonderful things in life to experience.
Yesterday, I sat with dear friends and drank champagne and cups of tea, and ate cakes from Brunetti’s and talked about nothing and everything but not about anything to do with my health because how boring is being unwell? But I came home and had to just sit because I was exhausted but grateful for dear friends.
I am starting a new job which is wonderful, and perfect and I am seriously thrilled to be seen and valued for my worth. I have had a serious of some disappointing jobs over the years, so I reset my criteria and then found the one that worked best for me in my new head and body space.
It is so important to know your own value. This has been a new thing for me over the past seven years but knowing my self worth and my value means I can step back, walk away and let go and focus on what matters. Seeing your worth and value is everything. EVERYTHING.
You are not your work, you are not what you do for others, you are not what you wear, or drive. Your contribution is unique and special but you have to understand what it is first before you can see if you are not being rewarded for it, or acknowledged for it. I spent a long time trying to be something other people wanted or giving them what they needed to the point it drained me, and I felt completely shit about myself. I thought that’s all I was worth. Being the handmaiden to others.
Writing helped me understand my worth was in my wit, my thoughts, my self-examination and learnings, and my honesty. I made money from it. I helped people. I entertained people. And all my the way I ordered words. That is pretty damned special.
So I am laying low, being careful with my health, knowing what I can and can’t do for a while. Doing what the doctors tell me. I will be working in my lovely new job. Writing my new book and being quiet and calm in the eye of the storm. That’s all you can do too.
Find your worth lovely friend, find your shelter and know that you matter and you can take some time out when you need to.