How to get a smaller, bigger life
The writer Elizabeth Gilbert said something about wanting to live a bigger smaller life, when downsizing her world.
I get that. It’s what I aspire to in my own day:
I work to live, but I don’t live to work. I like my work, and the people I work with but I can leave it behind mentally when I go home.
I only buy what I need, or what makes me happy. A new Delfonics pen makes me happier than anything else.
I say no to things more than I say yes. I say yes if I am required to for family or loved ones, but mostly I don’t go because…people. Mostly I am not good company. I don’t do small talk. I go straight to the wounds of the world and discuss them. I’m weird like that.
I know what my well needs to recharge me. Beauty, creativity, gardens, sunshine, music, dogs and the sea.
I write for pleasure when I write this blog. I write for pleasure when I write a book.
I read poetry. I share poems with people who I think might like them or that might resonate with them.
Wandering through shops with no intention to buy anything, just look and be okay with that.
No striving for more ‘things’, just more inspiration. More of what thrills me. more books, art, poems, gardens, love.
A smaller house. I don’t need the space. I don’t need the stress. I don’t need the cleaning!
Creating boundaries about what and who I engage with. I try to stay away from crazy. I used to love to solve people’s problems, because then I wouldn’t have to look at my own. Now I am happy to recommend them to a therapist. I love you but I can’t fix this, find someone who can help. I have tried to help alcoholics, drug addicts, abusers and more. I am not qualified and I ended up being hurt. DON’T DO IT.
Spend less. Barefoot Investor, My money, BudgetWise. Do something. Change it. It’s not too late.
Clean out the crap in your life. Less stuff, more self-awareness, means more time to be inspired and be free. I sold so much stuff when I moved house. Thousands of dollars of stuff. It was good. I recommend it.
Know when to walk away from the relationships. If he/she are narcissistic pricks, nothing will change. Nothing. Go now and enjoy what is left of your precious life.
Go where you’re wanted, and don’t stay if your not. Your presence is important. Don’t waste it on dickheads. leave the job. Tell your boss he’s a sleazy bully. Tell the client they’re irrational and fuckwits. Go. Life is short. There are other clients, and other jobs.
Cut off ties with dickheads. Just because they’re family or your “oldest friend” doesn’t mean you have to have a relationship with them if you aren’t happy. Naturally try and talk about it first and see if you can sort it out but if you can’t get out!
Stop being so self-obsessed on happiness. It’s actually impossible to be happy ALL the time. Contentment is the key. That moment when you’re having a cup of tea, and you take a moment to think, this is good. That’s the goal. I stopped trying to be happy ages ago. Now I’m happy more than I’m not.
Say no to buying things for the wrong reason. Nothing is worth financial peace of mind. You don’t need the boat, the car, the shoes etc, if it means another part of your life has to go without. I once sold a Cartier watch so my kid could go to a school term in the country in Year Nine. I didn’t need that watch. She needed to go to that school term. Choose wisely. I never think about that watch. I think about how much she gained from a term in the country often.
And that’s it. How to live a bigger, smaller life. Making room for the passion and the joy. Making room to be free and be smart. Making room to be inspired and inspiring.