How to stop worrying about your shit life, and become chill and other stuff
I subscribe to a lot of self-help emails, and I read none of them because I don't have time, and mostly they seem to be the same information over and over with tips such as:
- Drink water
- Say no
All valid points, but something I don't do at all, hence, why I am dehydrated, on 200mg of Zoloft, and currently being treated for ineffectual adrenal glands that have run out of puff.
I guess I subscribed to these emails because I was hoping for the silver bullet, or just a bullet in general, to put me out of my misery but none was forthcoming and now I just have a full inbox reminding me I'm shit at reading emails and I need to stop throwing my email address around like a male virgin at a strip club with a fist full of dollars.
But I'm not so bad. I did say no twice last week, and didn't take on some crap I heard about, from someone who knew someone who said something shit about something, and I did what the doctor said about rest, and had three good days out of seven.
This week I'm aiming for four good days, starting tomorrow, as today already seems to be a bust.
But I'm not depressed. Do you know why?
Subscribe to my blog posts and I will give you the answer every morning, straight to your inbox, while you're in the outhouse.
No, I won't, because I don't have the answer, and I wouldn't burden you with my bullshit EVERY morning.
I can only offer you this thing I did that helped me in the last week.
I worked out my values and have aligned my life towards those.
I did mine here- http://www.onlinepersonalitytests.org/corevalues
Don't bother with giving them your email, as it just spits your top three values back and you, along with daily emails that are now cluttering my inbox. (Is there a Kondo method for emails?)
Then, I looked at my life. Did my activities match my values?
Some things yes, some no. Then I decluttered my priorities.
Watching weird Italian films about art and despair in a beautiful setting hits several of my values. Spending time with my children and husband at the gallery also hits my v-spot. Rearranging furniture, and cleaning my house tickles my fancy, as does having a bunch of flowers in the hallway and lighting a beautiful candle. Reading about the past, makes me happy, and learning new things thrills me no end. I realised these make me happy because they resonate with my values.
I then made a screensaver for my phone of my values and every time I look at my phone, I am reminded of them, and I ask myself if I am living by them.
This doesn't mean I'm shirking responsibility from everything that doesn't meet my values. I still have a conscious, and I'm not a complete asshole. I know I am a privileged bitch but it is making life a little easier, and I am finding that being aware of what makes me content, or feel safe, aligns with my values.
Here are some ideas for screensavers I made in Canva.
And now I am about to go into, what my husband calls, my 1970's coach mode, when I say it like it is.
Go and do the quiz, then make your screensaver or whatever, and then shut the fuck up when you do something you didn't want to do but didn't have the guts to say no. And don't tell me I didn't tell you how to say 'no' because I did! Work out your values and live by them. Got it? Good.